all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
