But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
