help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
