I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
