I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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