you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
