I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
