Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize