Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
