and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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