Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
