I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
