yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
