I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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