They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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