New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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