Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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