Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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