So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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