Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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