Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize