just tell him i said nine months
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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