I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
