Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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