If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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