At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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