we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would fuck him just for his dog
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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