Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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