awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
