I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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