Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
