We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
