3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
