FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
