Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
