Don't make out with my wife yet
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
