Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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