3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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