dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
