True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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