problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This show inspires me to have sex in space
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
