I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
