I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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