he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
