Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
