What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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