Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
