the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
