Christians are straight up FREAKS
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
