is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i've created a new STD.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
