Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We left the knife in your bed.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
