Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
