2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
