what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
