tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
