I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
