A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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