you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize