No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
