I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
